Isolation.

Last night when I was crying, I was talking to an incredible guy who was able to make me smile, just because he always makes me smile.

And if there was ever any doubt about whether I liked him in that way or if I even wanted anything to happen, it all went away. Nobody's ever been so nice to me. Nobody's ever even cared. And even though I'm probably a mess at relationships, I wanted to try. Take a risk. Do something I'm not supposed to for once.

But today I realized that no matter how good he is for me, how much he makes me smile, and how much I want to be with him, I can't. I don't deserve him. I don't deserve anyone. Isolation is my sanctuary.

Alone, nobody can hurt me or see who I really am. I'm too complicated for that. I have too many scars and battle wounds. He doesn't need to deal with that. Nobody should.

None of my friends know. None of my family knows. He doesn't need to either. Because he's too good to be weighed down by me and my problems. He's ready to fly and I lost my wings a long time ago.

It's just easier to remain a complete act. I'm an actress at heart, right?

--Tee