Riding the bus

I used to have a teacher who saved my life.  When I was experiencing the darkest of my days a few years ago, she talked me through and wouldn’t let me follow through with the plans I had in my head.  Most importantly, she kept my secrets exactly how they should be: secret.  Even though she was, by law, supposed to report me for “my safety” as the policy states, she didn’t.

Today as I was on the bus home, I was thinking of an excuse to tell my mom of why I skipped Ultimate Frisbee practise after school.  I couldn’t tell her that I hurt my ankle, I’m not in the mood for lectures.  And as I was thinking of an excuse that would get me into the least amount of trouble, I realized that I’ve been making excuses a lot lately and lying a lot and keeping my mouth completely shut about everything.

And I thought about that teacher who saved my life.  She told me that sometimes we take on a lot and life gives us a lot to handle.  Almost like we’re extending our arm and holding a cup of water in front of us.  And sometimes, even that little glass of water gets too heavy.  Even though we don’t want to put it down, we need to put down the glass, take a break and then pick it back up again.

I think I’ve been holding that glass for too long; trying to be everything to everyone and yeah, I’m tired.

So today I put down the glass.  Didn’t go to practice.  Didn’t go to work.  Didn’t stay after school for any clubs.  Didn’t go out to volunteer.  I went home, sat down and just paced myself to catch up on video editing and math.

Yes, I put down the glass for a little and hopefully, I’ll be able to hold it all up once again.