have you ever ran in the rain?

This week had just felt off. I felt bipolar and I'm not too sure why. I mean, it's a number of factors, but mostly, I don't know what it could be. Because it's not like these things in my life are new. I've dealt with them before.

And tonight, I decided to take the night off (even though I shouldn't) because I thought maybe I could fix it. And for those three hours that I spent playing and playing and playing my guitar, things really did feel better. Or at least, I felt better about things. I wrote a song about love because it seems like such an abstract idea right now. I wrote a song to my parents/family telling them what's been bothering me. I wrote a song to a boy that, well, to be honest, it's a very complicated and juvenile story. I sung about love and how awesome it'll be when I get there in life. But it's almost midnight and I'm not playing my guitar anymore. And it feels odd again.

I think I just need a really good run. Like put on my thick sweater and run as far and fast as I can. I want the cool air outside to freeze my skin, almost like it's not going to exist there anymore. I want to run in the rain, like somehow that will wash away everything I'm feeling. I want to get so tired that I'm far beyond a runner's high.

I need to get out of these four walls, don't I?