Yes, there's a part of me that says: to get back at him. A tabloid once said, success is the greatest revenge. But wouldn't that just justify everything he said? He says he doesn't want to get in the way of all the stuff I do, so, if through this reinvention I become that super powerful, independent, confident girl (without him), I just fuel his reason for not believing in the "us".
Yet, the other half of me wants me to do this for myself. I spent a lot of time waiting for life to happen. I'm sick of waiting. I'm going to take matters into my own hands. That's powerful.
Maybe that's it. If he can't handle the fact that I'm going where I want to, maximum speed, then maybe we wouldn't have worked out.
I hear a lot of celebrities say how their busy schedule keeps them from having a "personal life" because nobody understands. Carrie Underwood once said that she would only date in the industry because they'll understand how busy she is or how tired she can get. I'm no celeb, but maybe we're not that different.
So if he thinks he can't handle it, then that's completely fine. Because I'm still young and there'll be plenty of other guys out there that would be great for me. Guys that can relate to my craziness. And that's the hope I'll fall asleep with.
Wow, blogging breakthrough. Better than therapy because it's free!
{...tee}
p.s. Day 4 - Not really focusing too much on the other goals except for my short films and getting fit. But tomorrow is a brand new day. Focus. =)
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