Random Rants on my Phone

I tend to pass the time waiting for the bus by typing random lyrics and thoughts into my phone. That also means my phone memory is practically full by now. So tonight, I decided to clear them all out. The following is a random rambling of thoughts from 10AM in August. I remember feeling absolutely confused about what was happening and what I was doing. I also remember feeling absolutely scared of the possibility of losing someone I really cared about.

I don't understand how I could have fallen so hard yet he doesn't feel a thing. How can he be saying all these words but not truly mean it? How can he start up all these moments but still stay perfectly uninvolved while I'm sucked into a vortex of longing? I never wanted any of this. I didn't want to fall in love. I promised myself I wouldn't do it again. So what now?