One Life

My alarm in the morning is the chorus to "One Life" by Hedley.  The text on my alarm says "the day won't wait". These remind me to stop pressing snooze and get out of bed.  To get up and live my life instead of sleeping in my bed all day.

And today I realized that it's not enough to just get out of bed.  It's not enough to just be awake.  There's a fine line between being awake and living your life.

I also realized that life's a crazy, unpredictable thing.  We don't control it.  Sometimes we do.  There's no way of predicting the future.  Life's short, but it also lasts a while.  The real thing I learned today is, if we're not living our lives, what are we doing here?

I'm still trying to live my life.  Not just wake up in the morning, but take chances.  Live without regrets.  Without worries.  Give 100% and accept nothing less.  It's not as easy as it sounds and even tonight after an eye opening experience, I still cannot truthfully say I can and will live my life.  But I can try.

And it starts with tonight.  It starts with a few of the messages that I will never have the strength to say in person.



Eleven years ago, I pulled my first all nighter.  I was studying geography and multiplication.  I didn't want to and I truly believe that all my grief came from the same fear and guilt you instilled in me that night.  I used to hate you for doing that to me.  But I'm in a better place now.  Mom, we didn't have to turn out this way, but there's no going back.  I don't hold anything against you for that.  I still love you.

Ten years ago, my grade three teacher taught me to trust in others.  She showed me who I wanted to be.  Someone who is compassionate.  Mrs. R, I would not be the person I am today without you.

Nine years ago, I had a teacher tell me that life gets better, life gets easier once we're older.  I never believed him until today but I played that line over and over in my mind all these years.  Mr. J, you gave me hope.

Seven years ago, I met a teacher who taught me to never follow the crowd.  She showed me that despite what everyone says, I need to make my own judgments about people.  Mrs. B, you changed way I see the world.

Seven years ago, I also met a group of incredible friends.  I never knew what true friendship was until them.  We grew up together, we got through hard times together, we laughed with each other.  I will always remember L, E, & B.

Five years ago, I had a teacher who saved my life.  Plain and simple, I would not be alive right now if it wasn't for her.  Mrs. F, you mean so much more to me than you know.

Four years ago, I met some amazing friends who taught me the definition of love.  I will never let you go, A, A, D.

Three years ago, I had a teacher who believed in my dreams and treated me like a real person, not some student.  Because of you Mr. B, I will never, ever let go of my dreams and will always pursue my passions.

Three years ago, I had a teacher who made me passionate and confident about art and literature.  Mr. R, you've taught me to be more than just numbers and textbooks.  You've inspired my creativity.

Two years ago, I fell in love for the first time though it never worked out.  D, you still mean so much to me and I miss you every day.  I'm happy that you're happy where you are, and I'm sorry about how we ended.  You've taught me to take chances with love, no matter what.

Two years ago, I had a fall out with a friend.  I don't know exactly what happened, but one day we just stopped talking.  We just drifted apart.  L, I still miss you and the way we were.  I'm sorry that we had to let it end like that.

One year ago, I had a teacher who believed in me more than I did in myself.  Ms. C, I owe my success to you.

One year ago, I had a teacher tell me the cold hard truth.  No sugar coating, not cutting corners.  Mr. P, you've made me an adult.  I know I may not always listen to what you're saying, but they're in my head.

One year ago, I met a boy who seemed to be perfect.  I ran away faster than I thought I did and never really said why.  A, I hope you know that everything we were, even if it was brief, was genuine.  It was just the wrong time.  It's always nice to see you again.

One year ago, I met a friend who became my days very quickly.  I learned to cut loose and live my life.  I learned to enjoy the ones around me and the experiences I've had.  He taught me to go with the changing tides.  One day I fell in love with him.  One day I realized that he wasn't only my days, but my world.  I would give up anything for him.  What worries me the most is that one day, I'll lose him.  K, you'll never lose me, I love you.

Six months ago, I spent all of prom with one boy.  He was great company but I was doing it for all the wrong reasons.  I wasn't honest with myself and to be honest, that night is still one that I would do all over again if I had the chance.  J, I'm sorry.

In the past four months, I've learned so much about love, life, and myself.  In the past eighteen years, time was the only constant.  Every experience I've had, every person who has ever crossed paths with me, you've changed me.

I feel so grateful to be able to be sitting here today.

T