I don't understand how I could have fallen so hard yet he doesn't feel a thing. How can he be saying all these words but not truly mean it? How can he start up all these moments but still stay perfectly uninvolved while I'm sucked into a vortex of longing? I never wanted any of this. I didn't want to fall in love. I promised myself I wouldn't do it again. So what now?
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Random Rants on my Phone
I tend to pass the time waiting for the bus by typing random lyrics and thoughts into my phone. That also means my phone memory is practically full by now. So tonight, I decided to clear them all out. The following is a random rambling of thoughts from 10AM in August. I remember feeling absolutely confused about what was happening and what I was doing. I also remember feeling absolutely scared of the possibility of losing someone I really cared about.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
This Song Saved My Life
This is probably one of the most personal videos I have ever made. I was contemplating not uploading this, but film making is about emotions and story telling and this video is both. The words featured in this video are actual excerpts from my diary during a tough time in my life. And during those tough times, I had mentors and support from friends, but most of all, I had music. One of the most prominent songs in my life is "Welcome to My Life" by Simple Plan. It spoke for me when I couldn't find the courage to and gave me something to relate to. This song saved my life.
Song: This Song Saved My Life - Simple Plan
*NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Puffy eyes and trembling lips.
I spent five minutes thinking about it.
I logged in.
Clicked your name.
Typed my message.
Deleted it.
Signed out.
I'm too scared to tell you this but it has to come out.
You are the best friend I've ever had. So smart, so kind, so entertaining. Pretty much, amazing. And seeing you happy, whether I'm in the picture or not, makes me happy. I want so bad for you to smile, more then I want it for myself. And you'll never know it, but I love you, and I mean it with all my heart.
I logged in.
Clicked your name.
Typed my message.
Deleted it.
Signed out.
I'm too scared to tell you this but it has to come out.
You are the best friend I've ever had. So smart, so kind, so entertaining. Pretty much, amazing. And seeing you happy, whether I'm in the picture or not, makes me happy. I want so bad for you to smile, more then I want it for myself. And you'll never know it, but I love you, and I mean it with all my heart.
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