Visions of Love

He'll hold my hand in the winter time as we walk down the street.  Because his hand will keep me warmer than my jacket pockets.

He'll kiss my shoulders, just because he wants to be close to me.

He'll smile at me in the morning and not care that I look like a mess.

He'll laugh at my awkward dance moves when a good song comes on the radio.

He'll spin me in circles as we dance to no music at all.

He'll kiss my forehead because I'm too lazy to tippy toe up.

I'll feel his chest rise and fall at night.  Listen to the rhythm of his heart beating.

I'll stay up and listen to every rant he'll ever have.  And I'll always take his side.

I'll trust him on Friday nights when he leaves with the boys.

I'll make him breakfast in bed.

I'll be wildly enchanted by the way his face lights up when he talks about his passions.  His dreams.

I'll hold him when he's upset, because he's afraid to show it, but I'm not afraid to see it.

We'll weather every storm together.

We'll celebrate together.

We'll laugh together.  At each other.  With each other.

We'll find a home in each other.  A comfort.  A happiness.

The thing about love.

"If it's between love and losing, or to never have known the feeling.
I still side with love."

Maybe it's just listening to Taylor Swift right now, or having a friend endlessly try to convince me to go out and do things.  Maybe it's the fact that I've been sitting in my room studying for the past month.

But I want to be fearless, and reckless, and live a live.

I want to meet the one gives me butterflies.  Who makes me smile.  Who makes me watch it begin again.

I want to know what love is all about.  The whole thing.  Not just a taste.

But the thing about love is that I have absolutely no control over any of it.  I just have to let go and watch it all happen.

Bright Lights

I took in the city lights.
Bright.
Magical.
Untouchable.
I stood twenty-six floors above the world.
And I saw my reflection in the glass.
This, I thought, this is what I dreamed of.
This is what I worked for.
And sitting in the passenger seat home,
I took one last glance at the city skyline.
Tall glass buildings.
Shiny stadium rooftops.
Lights.
I've been smiling all night.
A genuine smile.
Uncontrollable.
And I can still hardly believe it.
I'm not sweating the little stuff.
I'm not getting distracted from this moment.
I'm not building crazy expectations.
I'm taking in everything.
Step by step.
Minute by minute.
Taking in life.

Life's not always perfect, but when it is, my gosh, it's beautiful.

Like Ever

When I first heard "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together", I didn't like it.  Very pop and mainstream.  Not country at all.  And it angered me that Taylor keeps calling herself a country artist when the sounds don't bring that "southern country comfort" that country music brings.  I was also mad that she called her album "RED" because that was Dia Frampton's album name and now she will be over shadowed by Taylor.

But the next day, I found myself singing Taylor's song.  And the day after that.

And despite all these technicalities of what is country music and album names, I still loved the song, and I still loved Taylor.

The video hit and I was confused and disappointed again.  As a filmmaker, I absolutely loved the concept of the video.  As a fan, I was disappointed at the chaos.

But then I watched Taylor in an interview talking about the song.  She said it's about that moment in a relationship where you stop caring about what he thinks of you.  You stop caring to try to fit his life.  You stop caring to make it work.  And I got it.  The song doesn't care about its genre or its fans.  The video doesn't care either.

And today, I stopped caring too.

Today, I set myself free from him.  And this is a powerful feeling.

I'm still going to be nice and genuine, because I care.  I can't help but care for people.  I like talking to people and being there for them.  But I don't care if he likes me.  I don't care how I look in front of him.  I don't care if he's texting when I'm doing something else.  I don't care if he chooses to be in my life or not.

So bring on the animal costumes and bring on the spoken song lyrics because we are never ever ever getting back together.  Like ever.

(hyperbole but the idea's there, haha)

The First Note

There's something calming about hearing your favourite song.  It's a sense of security.  Predictability.  Familiarity.  It brings a warm feeling inside.  A sense of being at peace.  The melody fills the otherwise silence or banging of war in your head.  You're transported to your first memory of hearing it.  You're transported to the most vivid memory of when you've heard it play.  You're hearing the voice you've been searching for.

There's also something calming about hearing a song from your favourite band or artist.  They don't know who you are or what they've done for you, but you still feel this incredible connection to them.  They personify a time in your life: an emotion, an event.  They become the one who's there when nobody else is.  You idolize their ability to save lives.  Their ability to live.  Their ability to be passionate.

And no matter who else, or what else, makes its way to your iPod.  No matter who else, or what else, gives you a sense of inner peace.  Nothing compares to that one song by that one artist.  Nothing compares to that feeling.  Nothing can take you to that place like that first note.  No matter how long its been since you've last listened to that band.  Despite choosing other albums to listen to.  You'll always come back.  And you'll be reminded once again of the power that music can have.

it goes on.

"In three words, I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost

And it really does.