if i had a time-machine-tivo, this is what would be on it

(from the past...)

1) Reba -
I miss coming home from school and unwinding to a little bit of HILARIOUS.

2) Eight Simple Rules -
Great, quality, family television.

3) Gilmore Girls -
I think I speak faster after watching that show.

4) Whistler -
Hooray for Canadian television!

5) October Road -
They cancelled the show before I even got a chance to catch up!

6) Friends -
Need I say anymore? At least I can watch reruns everyday after school!

(and of course some current favourites like...)

7) Flashpoint -
Absolutely one of the best shows on TV right now.

8) Amazing Race -
Entertaining AND educational. It doesn’t get any better than this.

9) Ellen -
A feel good show after a hard day of school.

10) TMZ -
If nothing else can make me smile, Harvey can.

.tee.

grinning like an idiot

because he makes me like that. I can't help it.

.tee.

throwing darts blindfolded

I just can't seem to pinpoint why I'm so upset.

maybe because he gives me dirty looks down the hallway, but when we're alone, it's like nothing's changed

maybe because I can't be mad at my best friend for doing what she did because she only had good intentions.

maybe because it sucks to have that beautiful feeling with him and have it come crashing down in a second.

maybe because I keep wishing and wishing for things to happen for me, and they haven't.


.i feel dumb.

.tee.

life changes faster than a kaleidoscope

Remember those things!? I thought they were so cool. Ha, hippie child.

Not too long following my previous entry, my best friend messages me and tells me that she has spoken with my crush about ME.
Obviously my heart rate goes through the roof. (Because this isn't the first time and the first time was ugly).

But then, I liked what she had to say.

So now, all I can say is,
"Don't be afraid, please, jump then fall into me" (Taylor Swift).

I am now in flirt mode.

.Tee.

back up, baby, back up

"...

Were you just kidding?
'cause it seems to me, this thing is breaking down
We almost never speak
I don't feel welcome anymore
Baby what happened, please tell me?
'cause one second it was perfect, now you're halfway out the door

...

Thought I knew you for a minute, now I'm not so sure
So here's everything coming down to nothing
Here's to silence that cuts me to the core
Where is this going? Thought I knew for a minute, but I don't anymore

..."

I don’t like saying this, but if I had a time machine, yes, yes I would go back.

.Tee.

p.s. The piano version of Forever and Always is awesome!

C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G-song

I've always felt others could express my life better than I could...

"baby you're a wrecking ball, crashing into me, nothing I can do but fall, piece by piece, you broke down every part of me that ever thought I'd never need you, baby

it's twisted, messed up, and the more I think about it, it's crazy but so what? I may never understand it, I'm caught up and I'm hanging on, I'm gonna love you even if it's wrong"
(Twisted, Carrie Underwood)

"you're toxic I'm slipping under, with a taste of a poison paradise, I'm addicted to you, don't you know that you're toxic? And I love what you do, don't you know that you're TOXIC?"
(Toxic, Britney Spears)

...do you get how I feel now?

.tee.

(untitled)...

Many people get bullied at school and do whatever they can to fit in.
Others at home.

What do you do when a house is not a home?


--
Ingrid Michaelson: one great artist.
Keep Breathing one of my favourite songs. It's dramatic, it makes me feel.
The Way I Am is such a great song. I love the video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJOzdLwvTHA

.Tee.

Smile

I'm in a happy place right now.

School started...and it's not has bad as I thought it'd be. I hate the courses but love the teachers. Hate the work but love the rewards.
Also, I'm pretty active outside of classes so it's not too hard to get up in the morning.

OMG! They replaced my old drama teacher (who was one of the best mentors) with a new drama teacher!! AAHH!!! =(
As long as there were good intentions and everything works out fine.

...Chemistry quiz tomorrow!

.Tee.

p.s. Happy Birthday FLARE MAGAZINE! (I have like three copies of the October issue!)

Graduation Day!

haha, I love how Alexis Bledel says "Graduation Day!" in her new movie Post Grad.

anywho, I just "graduated" Film Camp!!! YAY! It was SO much fun! I learned so much and got to meet/work with such talented youth and adults!
"We're having more trouble with the slating than the scene..."
"It's so funny to listen to his snoring for 45 seconds..."
"If it ain't dead, shoot it!"
I'm ready to step out into the world and show my creativity!

<3
.tee.

Wild Horses

"Wish I could recklessly love like I'm longing to."
--Natasha Bedingfield, Wild Horses

My best friend gave me an unexpected update about the boy that I loved but screwed things up with.

She asked me what I thought.

First numb.

But

I'm happy if he's happy.

Even if that means I'm not in the picture anymore.

And I really do mean it.

I mean, it hurts like crazy that I'm still asking what if.
And thinking about what could have been.
Wondering if he felt the same.

But I've made my mistakes.
And I've learned from them.

So yes,

I'm happy if he's happy.

>Tee