Wild Horses

"Wish I could recklessly love like I'm longing to."
--Natasha Bedingfield, Wild Horses

My best friend gave me an unexpected update about the boy that I loved but screwed things up with.

She asked me what I thought.

First numb.

But

I'm happy if he's happy.

Even if that means I'm not in the picture anymore.

And I really do mean it.

I mean, it hurts like crazy that I'm still asking what if.
And thinking about what could have been.
Wondering if he felt the same.

But I've made my mistakes.
And I've learned from them.

So yes,

I'm happy if he's happy.

>Tee

midnight ramble...

the elevator smelt like him.
the warm scent of cigarettes, coffee, mint bubble gum, dove soap.
i guess all actors smell the same?

.tee.

Carrie and My Breakthrough

First off, Carrie Underwood is THE GREATEST.

Secondly, I had a massive breakthrough...I think...
The other night as I was riding home, I closed my eyes and I saw his face and started to tear up. And at that moment, I realized that I didn't say proper goodbye to him either (like my old love). But at the same time, I wasn't as upset because I don't like him that way. I think I liked the idea of love more than I liked him. I liked how passionate he was about life, about the dramatic arts. And that he showed me more than I could imagine and how he reminded me of my old love. But I'm not upset, because I know this will not be the last I see of him...
Besides, I'm taking what he's given me and running with it, not wallowing in the past.

"Love goes out, out like a light, out like a flame, and you can't find it anymore. Just when you think it's lost in the rain, it comes back knocking at your door." --Wheel of the World, Carrie Underwood

Love, Tee

On A Saturday Night (11:27)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gL2Ns4xikWM&feature=channel

Jordan McCoy. Check it out. I love this song so much.

love love Tee